Monday, October 24, 2011

It's been a long day for me at the house.  I tend to over emotionalize everything.  I'm working on it.  But to say that today I've had the blahs is an understatement.  Just like I always tell my kids though.. you have to decide what kind of day you are going to have.  So I decided that I was just going to get over it... make the best out of it.  And I'm trying.  But as I was planning dates, the hum drums made me wonder what the point even was..  I could plan all I wanted to, but I'd probably not have the money to carry any out.  Or the energy (ok so it's one of those lazy days lol).

But the more I got to thinking, the more I realized that no matter what happens now, today, tomorrow, that the path I'm on... the things I'm working on, are RIGHT.  Otherwise I'm in a catch 22 relationship.   I know there are needs Larry has in the relationship that I don't fill.  Just as I'm not getting some of my needs filled.  But just giving up trying to be the wife I need to be will NOT get my needs filled either.  Not that I'm doing it just for me... but yet I am.  Because I'm a selfish person so I'm of course going to look at the "what's in it for me", no matter how much I try not to.

Don't get me wrong.  I have a WONDERFUL relationship with my husband.  He's a wonderful provider.  A wonderful and thoughtful husband.  A fantastic father.  But our relationship needs work... don't they all?

So I'm going to continue on, and KNOW that I'm going to have doubting days like today.  But to keep on BECAUSE of these days.. To know that today may not be showing any difference, but tomorrow, or next month will.  And it will continue to get better.  Like a fine wine.  Good to begin with, but phenomenal at the end.  (Ok I don't know a lot about not sure that really applies.  But you get the idea!)

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